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Confessions of a Freestyle Fitness Instructor part 4 – “Frankly, Mr. Fitness, I Don’t Give a Damn!”

I never underestimate the immense power of film – even when teaching fitness classes. If you think hard enough you can create an appropriate movie quote for whatever chicanery arrises in specific moments in Pilates, Yoga, Spinning and Pylata. Here are a few events which stand out and what quotes are the most acceptable.  Keep in mind – these are also acted out in the exact voices you hear on the screen.

* “What was the middle thing?” Otto in A Fish Called Wanda –  Used when a pivotal exercise is forgotten (by me) in a long, dramatic sequence and my brain freezes or i’m fixated on the Depeche Mode song currently playing. Black trench coat optional.

*  “Merry Christmas. Ho! Ho! Ho…..!” – Santa (pushing Ralphie down the slide with the toe of his boot) in A Christmas Story – When doing a move which requires that you point your feet. Many people mistake pointing for flexing. The scene is acted out in full complete with northern Indiana accents!

* “Get the chalk! Get the chalk!”  – Jack Lemmon in Glengarry Glenn Ross (the only profanity free line in the movie) – Used when I am monologuing and actually say something very profound. This happens once every 7.4 months & we NEVER have any chalk on hand! 🙁

* “She had man hands!” – Jerry Seinfeld on Seinfeld (referring to a date with enormous hands) – Used every time we do down dog and planks which require very spread out fingers. I’m amazed at how many get this reference! The back-up line is to say “Jazz hands!” but that makes me think of show choir and really bright cumberbuns which make me annoyed and queazy.

* “Crashed and burned huh Mav?” – Slider in Top Gun – This of course is used whenever someone collapses, modifies, or passes out (never happened in my classes!) from too much intensity, or as I call it, “joy”! Incidentally, the next line spoken in the movie is, “Slider, you stink.”, but I don’t really feel comfortable telling my beloved clients that. Well…maybe my dad 😉

* “No, you’re not alright Spider (pronounced spidah)!” – Joe Pesci in Goodfellas – Must be said whenever doing the Spider Stretch. Pesci voice and inflections must also be used. Extra credit for doing Spider’s voice. Nuff said.

I hope this helps you bridge the gap between life saving fitness and soul firing cinema. To have the opportunity of combining fitness with cinema is a major blessing in this business. Now, I must go work on my Clark Gable. One of my Disney regulars is a huge fan and every time I try to impress her with a GWTW or Mutiny on the Bounty quote I sound like a hungover and novacained Charles Bronson.

What movie lines go through your brain when you exercise? Do certain moves remind you of your favorite films?

Post your comments to my blog and share on your Facebook page 🙂

Sean Vigue – LIKE my page for daily fitness news and workout download giveaways every Wednesday! – order my Pilates for Men and Starter Series dvds/downloads and exercise anywhere! My Yoga for Men download was recently featured in a story onFOX News!

Getting ready to use obscure "Marty" quote

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